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And then the fight began.
Well, it has been one heck of a day. My sides hurt so badly I can hardly move. I got a backache that won’t quit, a toe that points in the wrong direction, and a head that feels like someone is inside pounding to get out. On top of that my wife is mad at me for not doing my weekly chores.
It all started with one of my trips to the basement to engage in my weekly chores, the dreaded vacuuming was next on the agenda. As I walked past the glass sliding door I casually glanced towards the squirrel toss anchored nearby outside. Now this is no ordinary squirrel toss, this is a locally manufactured device assembled by skilled craftsman who can complete any job in twice the time. Or is that, anyone else can complete the job in half the time. I forget.
Anyway, lo and behold, there near the locally manufactured by skilled craftsman squirrel toss, now known as the LMSCST, was a locally raised squirrel. I was in big trouble. I was terribly out of position to initiate a launch sequence. The glass door was locked; the string was threaded through the door but at least 8 feet away. Even if I reached it in time I could not pull the string with the door closed.
Oh, what to do? The only thing was to attempt to sneak around and open the glass door just enough to loosen the string for the initiation of the launch sequence. I slowly started to round the coffee table when my little toe struck the foot of the three-ton table. My toe moved but the table did not. I was soon hopping around banging into obstacles and falling over furniture.
As I came crashing to the floor I glanced up to see the locally raised squirrel run away. He was having trouble as he kept falling over from laughing. I swore softly, I will get you, you little ba$!$%. I decided then and there to dedicate some significant time to the LMSCST. I rolled over towards the string and the glass sliding door. I eased up to my knees and unlocked the door. I slid it open a half inch and tested the string. All okay, now all I need is a locally raised squirrel.
Many parts of my body were already hurt and beginning to bruise but even laying down on the floor did not seem to ease the pain. But alas, a returning locally raised squirrel, now known as Smedlap, was cautiously returning. This was too good to be true. I lay still holding the string in one hand and peeking around the corner at the LMSCST.
Could I have such luck and Smedlap would seat himself on the launch pad. Well, yes, but not for about 45 minutes. By now much of my body was growing numb from lack of blood flow. Now! my brain shouted at me. I pulled the string with a sharp yank just as Smedlap decide to stand up.
That was definitely a mistake on Smedlap’s part. Instead of a nice launch he was sent cartwheeling through the air. He must have done at least a dozen full gainers and then, thud. Not sure where that tree came from, but there it was. Smedlap bounced off, ran around in circles shaking his head, then he ran up the tree he smacked and promptly fell out of the tree. By this time I was getting a little nervous that I might have harmed poor Smedlap. Not to worry, as Smedlap got up and started chasing the other squirrels that were hanging around trying to figure out how Smedlap could do cartwheels like that.
As for me I was not so lucky. I was laughing so hard I think a pulled every muscle in my body. I had to lay down to rest and then I fell asleep thinking, I can do my chores later.
Shortly thereafter my wife came home from grocery shopping—and then the fight began.
|Gold Dredge Number 8 Fairbanks|
|Ninilchik's Russian Orthodox Church|
|Canyon De Chelly|
|Hubbell Trading Post|
|Painted Rock Petroglyphs|
|Tonto Natural Bridge|
|Wupatki National Monument|
|Colorado Ghost Towns|
|Adena Thru Dearfield|
|Derry Ranch thru Hull City|
|Idaho Springs thru Orchard|
|Oro City thru Summerville|
|Summit thru Yampa|
|Bonnies Bonanza Memories|
|Hull City - Independence|
|Dredge near Fairplay|
|Hugo Helps A stranger|
|JamesTown Jim Town|
|Jane Kirkham Grave|
|Buildings - Sights - vistas|
|Mines and Mills|
|French Creek Dredge|
|Last Dollar Road|
|Phantom Canyon Road|
|Rose Lime Kiln|
|Sand Creek Massacre|
|Star School House|
|Summit Springs Battlefield|
|Swan River Dredge|
|Texas Montana Trail|
|American Eagle Mine|
|Arrastra Gulch and Mayflower Mill|
|Bonanza Empire Chief|
|Clear Grit Mine and Mill|
|Continental Chief mine|
|Little Annie Mine|
|Lone Star Mine|
|Lucky Strike Mine|
|Mikes Lost Gold Mine|
|Pennsylvania Mine and Mill|
|Abo Mission Ruins|
|Acoma Sky City|
|Gran Quivira Mission|
|Inscription Rock El Morro|
|Arches National Park|
|Savery WY - Little Snake River Museum|
|South Pass City|
|Trail to the Klondike Gold Fields|
|Boyero CO family history from John Davis|
|Cleator AZ By Lyle Clark|
|Corkscrew Gulch Turntable CO Peter Silseth|
|Crested Butte Gothic CO by Elaine Christiansen|
|Generator Building from Daniel Wenger|
|Hanover History by Phyllis|
|Hereford inn History By Jack and Anita|
|Lake City & Ute Ulay Mine from Brad Nettleton|
|Midway Saloon David Gardner Penny Taylor|
|Nevadaville Central City by Harry Frank|
|Summitville CO by Ken Strasser|
|The Mean Grandpa|
|Grandpa builds a hill|
|Does it feel like extortion yet?|
|Trend Setter NOT|
|What a kindly old man taught me|
|Fishing for Squirrels|
|The Flaming Oil Can|
|Old Man and the stump|
|Just the Bear facts|
|Some People just really annoy me|
|Smedlap learns to ride|
|A personal letter to my family on Memorial day|
|The great mud bog adventure|
|Do you remember Raplhie Parker?|
|How I learned to like coffee.|
|How to scare a bear|
|And then the fight began|
|I will not be invited back|
|It was definitely worth it|
|Traveling the AlCan highway Thursday June 2012|
|Traveling the ALCAN highw Friday June 2012|
|Wyanes World - Return to the past|
|What I like about Alaska|
|No I dont hate dogs|
|Nuts in the nursing home|
|What do a 57 Ford, a 58 Rambler and a 61 Chevy have in common?|
|Don't widen the Plate|